Skip to main content

The peer like quality of helping others be better

I was actually all set to write this before this weekend and had been pondering it since several moments and discussions at the Bay Area demo. Then my entire weekend rather stood on its head by my elevation being announced at court and its taken me a few more days to really be able to articulate this concept.

The peer like quality of helping others be better people.

Not many people really mention this as a peer like quality. I suppose it might fall under courtesy or chivalry or grace but I prefer to think of it in more in this mundane phrasing because it is, to me, the main purpose of peers. Yes there is advisement to the crown and teaching and service and inspiration and leadership and a bunch of organizational fu but it really struck me that all of that lends back to the purpose of helping people be better.

Maybe it's the teacher in me but this concept is pretty darn important to me.

Sometimes it happens by simple leadership by example - providing a good model for behavior and action or thought.
Sometimes it happens by direct advice - sitting and advising someone or discussing a difficult topic honestly and with constructive feedback.
Sometimes it happens by teaching a class or hosting a discussion.
Sometimes it happens by inspiration - a moment of leadership, a kind word on a touch day, a stretched out hand that shows someone a different side of things, or an optimistic outlook where there wasn't one before.

But really this is the crux of it - that the main job of a peer is to be an example of the Dream  (in whatever way that Peer fits into it as we all have such different ideals for that Dream) and to help others reach toward it and be better in whatever ways that Peer can.  That doesn't mean perfection or being critical - there was never a snarky comment on seams that made anyone feel better or be a better seamstress - but it does mean finding what it is that others need in them to grow and be better and nurturing that aspect, be that an art, a service, fighting, or a personal quality.

I have been blessed with so many brilliant examples of this I cannot even list them all - but lets just say trimaris is often particularly lucky.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Courtesy and Being a Peer

This one's a bit rambling but is something I'm contemplating. Courtesy tends to be a double edged sword. We seek it as a laudable quality but the practitioners of it who value it the most are sometimes then caught by it as we try to maintain it around those are acting discourteously. I have a pretty strong stance on addressing issues of rudeness or discourteous behavior. I am strongly in the camp of "if it's not addressed it will continue to happen" but I struggle with how best to do this, both as a person and as a peer.  There is, in the end, no one right answer I suppose which is why its something we always struggle with.  I have realized I don't like the internet for these purposes - FB and email and other electronic forums lack the force of having a face to back an opinion and make it easy for arguments to spiral out of control with name calling and commentary, often from parties who have nothing to do with the original problem.  On the other hand, d...

The importance of the journey and the destination

A lot of time, as a peer, the discussion comes up of "what do you do to become a peer?"  "What steps do you take?" "Are there jobs or goals?" "How long does it take?" While the answer to all of that is - yes, there are certain tasks and jobs you can take on that will get you the recognition or experience that peerages look for, there's a far more important question to ask. Why are you worrying? Goal is setting is *fabulous* and I absolutely commend you if becoming a peer is something you want to do someday and you have that as one of your things you'd like to happen.  It's good to keep goals like that in mind as you make choices and, particularly, because peerage is a reflection (we hope) of a better self we hope to be in service to the Dream.  If you want to someday be a peer, acting like one is a good step - being chivalrous, discreet, working hard, and all those other qualities we discuss. But a better question is are you e...